tears

with my tears, what can i do with it? Dropped, wiped. and it's repeatly. Even I know, it's need time to cure. to forget, to accept. But just thing happened in a sudden, I have no ready to accept this... There are too many regret and sorrows left.... Rest IN peace, this is my hope for her, forever. And Be strong and tough, this is what i hope for myself. I'll never forget you, granny.

RIP

止不住的思念，我知道 在另一边的世界，婆婆希望我活得好好的。 我不哭，我需要坚强。

ENding

You tried to retain me, pursue me don't leave....
but, life goes on, i'm not doing charity. SOrry.

You hurt me, and thanks for the harsh and cruel. I will quit.

Thank you, for everything.

写实的现实

会有一天，我不再热衷于找你讨论任何芝麻绿豆的小事，定期地与你聊天，天南地北地谈经济谈女人谈工作。
这么的一天，一点一点地在累积，长期地不忿与委屈，把我之前对你的那份热衷与热心全然抹去。。。
当有一天，你前来向我倾述你的问题，老生常谈，道出你的生活的一切，
我会回以一句， “哦，是吗？”
对你仅有的亲近感也断然无存，
哥儿们的袍澤之情，更是甭说了
这会是一件好事
我可以出言拒绝你所有的要求，不再是义务，更不会因为你的一些困难而赴汤蹈火舍命陪君子
渐渐地，发现了生活圈子的不同，对事物的概念与理念兼有不同地执着
没有后悔，没有不值得
只是遗憾
开心的是，至少在一路上，我照明了你的道路，开拓了你的事业与视野
这一天，最后发现了
对，最重要的
还是自己

day 4

cried without tears.
problems still there.
where is the ending?

Day 3

Day 3, same thing happended still. 2 weeks needed for observation. I will bear for it...

I need to be strong and independent.

"it's pointless being together if always arguing...."

This is what i suppose to receive now?

With this situation and condition, i give up...

Good bye.

helpless

Life never easy as what we always get to knew from the TV shows and dramas.
Obstacles surrounding with burden of constrains will be limit your life.
Money is the most important things i found out for the current stage.
Even with the master graduated degree, but yet I am still suffered with the budget constrains all the times....
Can't work with the job i desired with, struggle with my health else now....

2 weeks observation, as after the consultation by Dr. huh, I need worry for the another two weeks....

2012 seems too bad for me, i lost appreciation from others, lost respect and lost even money, and with a lousy job.

Lord, are u listen to me?

边缘

说不寂寞是假的，
有时在这城市里，
一个人地遛达，
心里也满不是滋味

一个人也几年了，
也许习惯了，
但在累的时候
还是想
有个人
能在家
等着我回去

不是爱挑剔
只是
很多时候
爱来得真的不是时候

you will never know how disappointed i am now....
Been humiliated but yet forgive, yet need to faced a huge insult like this....
Helpless, definitely it was very helpeless, but what to do?
No one can giving their hand and i'm the only one have to face it.

开心，吗？

现在，我只能在远远地
观望着你，关心你。
从来没想过
我们的关系会变得那么地糟糕
明白了
经过了数周的时间
明白了
尽管有千万个理由想要和你和好如初
但你的一个理由
足以把我给打倒
一段以逝的感情
确实很难再收回
最重要
你开心
就好

forget the pass, and move forward

Just met a knowledgeable and experienced person yesterday in my previous job office.
We have a long chat and yet for the 2 hours, what he told me was totally impressed me.

something BIG BIG BIG were across my mind in this two days and all it's about the career and personal development.
Many of the things he been told me that it never come across to my mind before,
A job can earned up to RM15k per month after few years which is can be get from my expertise.
Definitely it's was so amazing and shocked me cause I never ever think that can make money with such level!
Impressed me, and made me felt,
I'm rather dim about the purposes of my lives before.

What kind of life I've been gone through?
I live my life for others, sacrifice everything for other, and do nothing for myself...
When is the time i request for some rewards, "calculative", "childish" and "emotional" & etc stamped on me.

Give more, expect less...
I did applied it but things come different to me.

Times to say goodbye to "Tiny Me" and say hi to "Big Me" on 2012!

2011 review

2011, A brand new year for me definitely. I spent the last day of 2011 at home, passing it peacefully & with mind of appreciation on whatever i get...
In short, 2011 i gone through:
A lecturing job which i never experienced before. And yet, I'am resigned from the position before and now was unemployed.
I meet a group of nice friends whose always be so so supportive and helpful, went through the bitter sweet with me.
My health alarm was on and yet, there is no solution yet because of certain reasons.... I hope i can get well soon, if possible....
A person so called as my buddy, joined in to my life. I hlping him all the way and be proud with his achievement now. He spent my half time for 2011.
A messed up relationship, i hope i meet the right one, at least now, trying process still on going. Never try, never know.
And blah blah blah......
my life on 2011 just so miserable, which is not yet reach my target.
Hope by the 2012, I can get my desirable job and earn more money. Have a better quality time. =)
Welcome 2012.

A belated birthday celebration

should i happy with the celebration?
Tried hard to ask myself forget everything and just be act normal, but indeed i couldn't make it.
i can't forgive what the fellow do on me yet i miss those moments we spent together.
nightmare and some miserable truths again & again play in my mind to warned me that same thing will be happen again by tonight.
Can i say, I don't want to celebrate it? =(

let it be

Times to the ending, everything finished since last week.
Whatever i can do, i had tried my best and complete it; bear with the ignorance and ego attitude. Finally, and congratulation to me, I had did a good job.

Everything i will just let it go, no matter how sad I am, how upset I am, things will never change too.

Let it be

触

身体一天一天地
像朵凋谢的玫瑰
一片一片地凋零

在这花样年华里
像个药罐子似的
那是多么地讽刺

我相信我幸福的
至少在此时此刻
关心关怀从不缺

心态调整了不少
我想我是阔达了
世事太难以预料

能活着一刻也好
都要好好的去过

优待朋友与亲人
至少人生没遗憾

习惯乐观

其实你知道吗？
劝自己要坚强，要乐观
实在不是一件容易的事

至少我学习着
不要把悲观的情绪带给别人
就算最亲近的你的人
他们也希望是一张堆满笑脸的亲人在身边

我把烦恼吞了
埋在心底最深处
我不会把它给挖出来

人生在世
只要能为大家彼此做多一些好事
分享多一些喜悦
我就满足了
你好，他好，大家好
这是我最大的期许

乐观
还是需要习惯

乐观到连鬼都怕！

有一句至理的名言：“态度决定一切”。
态度由心而生，即为心态，这心态是否真能决定一切不必去验证，但“心态”是动词，是人为的，绝对能影响你活着的质量。
拉伯雷说：生活是一面镜子，你对它笑，它就对你笑，你对它哭，它就对你哭。
在现实生活中，如果你有乐观的心态，日子过得就快乐，看着什么都顺眼，做起什么事都顺心，活着轻松自在。
因为乐观既是一种心态、一种情绪，更是一种素质、一种智慧。
你有乐观的心态，就能以幽默的眼光看待不愉快的事情，以轻轻一笑缓释痛苦，甚至以不幸中的万幸聊以自慰；
你有乐观的心态，就能在困难中看到光明，在逆境中找到出路；
你有乐观的心态，就能发挥自己的优长，激励自己的热情，开掘自己的潜能；
你有乐观的心态，心中总是阳光明媚，总能吸引和感染周围的人。
境由心造，只要你能乐观，就能轻松自在地享受人生的美妙。

没什么可说了
之前，我可以为你找不回我信息的几千几万个理由，
现在，我找不到任何一个能安抚我自己的理由

我想我是死心了
是时候结束了

再见美梦
再见各位

及时雨

感谢刚刚到场的好友，
谢谢他的·辅导与支持，
现在的我
真的觉得舒服得多
至少我不会再胡思乱想
性格真的是不能勉强
若他的性格真的是如此，我又何苦和自己过意不去呢？
回也罢，不会也罢，我只知道强拗的瓜不会甜
只要他让我知道，有在珍惜我，尊重我
那就够了
毕竟不是每个人都像我一样，有事没事都喜欢坦诚相见
亦或者是另一个说法
我帮的
是不是太多了呢
多得连他也开始
觉得这是理所当然的
看来我是
滥好人了

anyway
谢谢两位及时雨
把我给淋醒了

看不穿

别人笑我太疯狂，我笑他人看不穿

我有我要求，我有我原则

至少，

现在所作的一切，我觉得是值得的

况且，

人生偶尔就是要疯狂一下

才算没白活嘛。

=)